Philippians 2:14

Recently we have been trying to overcome a whining/crying hurdle with our 4 year old, Madelynn. Typically she is a high energy child with lots of creativity and expression. This week she has been abnormally busy for one little 4 year old and I fear that her tiredness has turned into a case of constant crankiness. I let her sleep in this morning and made her take a nap too, but it's seems the crankies are here to stay. She has cried like a PMS nightmare all day.

I have tried everything. Extra cuddling and reassurance. Talking her through her emotions to get to the root of what is really bothering her. Tonight she just went back and forth from me and her dad crying, whining and begging to be held, sung to and rocked.

Finally after the 5th emotional outburst I had had it! I said "That's it Madelynn. I don't know what you want, you don't know what you want. I am tired of trying. Just go to bed." (Now, while there was some wisdom in the fact that at this point she probably needed another nights sleep more than anything else, I was struck with my own hypocrisy within that statement. )

How many times have I had the same attitude with my Heavenly Father, crying and complaining and sometimes not even clear why I am not thankful for all He has done for me? I have begged and demanded, whined and complained. Yet never once has He said "That's it, I am done with you." Oh to have His long suffering.

So while I am far from where I need to be as a mother or as His child, I will wake my sweet daughter in the morning with a kiss on her sweet face. But while she sleeps tonight, I will kneel by her bed and pray that God gives me the patience that only comes from His Spirit, and the wisdom to be the example to my children that He has commanded me to be.

"Do all things without murmuring and complaining." Phil. 2:14

Together

May we always remember that life works better together than apart. Life was meant to be shared. Sharing is hard sometimes. Hard for small children and sometimes harder for adults. God give us the ability to share what we have and learn to ask for what we have not.

Perfect Peace

Back in 1993, (wow 15 years ago) in Mr. Anzivino's Bible class we memorized a short scripture in Isaiah 26:3. I had no idea then how much that one little scripture would impact my life.

"He will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him, because He trust in Him."

This scripture has become like a prescription for my spirit man. Anytime I began to have anxiety or feel lost, I stop and ask myself? "Is your mind stayed on Him?", many times the answer is a resounding "NO!!!"

Even in the middle of the night, when I wake with a start after a bad dream, or I am awake wishing I could sleep, but worrying over some financial matter, or child's illness, I began to meditate on this scripture and force myself to replace the worries with thoughts or scriptures about Him.

Through the hardest trials in my life I begin to double up on my prescription so to say. More quiet time, more personal devotion, worship music in the morning as I dress for the day, bathing myself in the Word and with prayer. By taking this scripture literally I have been able to learn that "Perfect Peace" comes with "Perfect Trust". The trusting is always the hard part.

When covered by His presence and with the Word, the trusting does come easier though, and once the trusting starts the peace always follows.

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word

Just to rest upon His Promise

and to know"Thus Saith the Lord!"

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Madelynn:

You are only four years old and I know you can't read this, but some day you will. I want to tell you all about the way you are right now.

You are beautiful. Not just to me but to everyone who knows you. Sometimes I watch you dancing and spinning in the sunshine and my breath catches in my throat at the miracle you are. You are girly and silly, you love picking flowers and anything to do with princesses. You love making up stories and silly songs. You are very creative.

You also have already developed a special love for your Heavenly Father. And even though there is still a lot you don't understand; you get what matters most. That he loves you just the way you are.

You are not perfect, you get cranky and whiny when you are tired and talk back way more than you should. But even in those moments, you are the most precious gift in my life.

I only hope I give you every opportunity to be all that you can be. You have the potential to be so much. Reach for the stars my love. They have been sparkling in your blue eyes since the day you where born. Fall in love with Jesus before you fall in love with anyone or anything else and He can take you all the way to the Heavens!! Literally.

I love you my princess.

Mommy

Winds of Change

Last Thursday the worship team and several of the church intercessors met for a time of worship and prayer at the new building. As I began praying and singing in the Spirit, I felt a phrase coming up within me. I began to sing about the Winds of Change. I sang that they would come and blow through the church affecting all present.
I thought later about how when a wind comes it usually changes the scenery. No one ever comes away from a strong wind with their hair all in place and their clothes not disheveled. I wonder how many times I have detoured the winds because of my own fear of the change that comes with the wind.
I studied quiet a bit in the days that followed about winds. The old testament talks often of the winds blowing from the four quarters of heaven and in Psalms it says that the winds are subject to the divine power.
I am now more certain than ever that the Winds of Change are coming and I am ready for not just the power from the wind, but the change too!

A Piece of the Puzzle

I am realizing that my biggest battle in life is the battle with myself. I fight harder with me than anyone else. To explain I should say it doesn't have to do with self-esteem or self hatred or anything of that nature.
I struggle the most with the battle of my own emotions. I wish I was one of those people that was just consistent. I wish I woke every morning ready to face the day and that I didn't feel up one day and down the next. I refuse to be lead by my emotions otherwise I wouldn't battle so hard. I don't want my day, or the way I speak to my family or my productivity at work to be determined by how I feel in that moment.
I want to be like Paul in Philippians 4:11...
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance"
I guess that it is the struggle. Contenment. I don't mean that I am not thankful or grateful for what I have. I just mean that there has always been a restlessness inside me. I want to feel settled. I don't want to feel anxious, especially when there isn't really anything to be anxious about.
I have been meditating on Scriptures and I do believe that helps, but I can't help but feel like I am still missing a piece of the puzzle.

A New Start

Well this year I can truly say that I am glad to see the holidays end. Don't be misled, it's not that I didn't enjoy them and appreciate all the gifts and family and food and festivities. Our Christmas started the Saturday before and didn't end until the Saturday after. Even Christmas becomes tiresome when it last a week.

The thing that was most alarming is that New Years came and went like just another day this year. No time for contemplative reflection or deep soul searching. We didn't make it back into town from Baton Rouge until New Years Eve and then there was the Christmas lights and decor to pack up in the attic, a grocery list to prepare and then acquire, 6 loads of clothes to wash, dry, fold and put away, unpacking of the luggage and making room for all the gifts we brought back with us. Somehow the day was over before I realized it.
Today I am back at work and wondering how on earth can I make a new start when I barely even noticed the whistle blew?
Then ever so gently I hear a familiar voice. It is just above a whisper. "Betsy, I make all things new!" A peace that passes my mortal understanding envelopes me and I know that I have not missed out. I tore out a sheet of paper and started writing furiously. A short simple prayer of blessing on these few year long goals and I suddenly have a totally new perspective.
I am ready for come what may, I have plans and I have goals but my constant is sweeter than all these......
For I know that my Redeemer lives and I shall stand with Him on that day!

You better watch out....

Let's just say not everyone was happy about Santa Claus coming to town!

Holding Hands

The other day as I was walking my daughter across the street for playschool. As we were walking up the curb to the sidewalk, my daughter started to stumble. Because I was holding her hand, I lifted her up so she wouldn't scrape her knee. I said "See why Mommy makes you hold her hand, so that I can keep you from falling."


As soon as the words were out of my mouth, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Isn't that just how our Heavenly Father feels towards us? The moment we think we have it all under control and we let go of His hand, we slip and fall flat on our face! How many of life's scrapes and boo-boos could we avoid if we would only hold tight to His loving, faithful and protecting hand.


I hope it doesn't seem like I am overspiritualizing such a small thing. Thank goodness my Lord uses the simple things to speak to me or I might never get it!

The ABC's of Gratitude

The ABC’s of Gratitude!
Many years ago, at a luncheon for women, I spoke on the topic The Power of Gratitude. I shared my testimony about my first experience with depression and how I overcome it by starting a gratitude journal.
I sometimes still have to remind myself how important it is that our focus stays on what we have and not what we don’t. Life becomes a pretty beautiful place when we realize just how much we have been given.
There used to be a Christian radio station that played the ABC game every Monday as people where on there way to work to overcome the Monday blues. The rules were that someone had to call in with something that they were thankful for from every letter of the alphabet. It was great listening to it and I always looked forward to my Monday drive to work.
That was years ago but I can still distinctly remember one woman calling in and saying the letter G for grass. Thankful for grass? She said that every time she smelt freshly cut grass it reminded her of all the times she and her family spent together in her backyard, playing games, grilling out or just being outdoors together. That made me smile.
What a wonderful perspective on life. Sometimes thankfulness and gratefulness is something we have to work at and make sure it is a strong character quality in our life.

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship
The word FRIEND is defined as a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. I read this definition and thought to myself, "That is not the definition of a friend". There is NO way that defines what a friend means to me.
This past weekend I had the pleasure to recall what true friendship is. Ironically some of these true friends I have not seen in over ten years. Yet there I was this past weekend surrounded by some of the most amazing women in the planet.
Now let me make one thing clear. We are not all exactly alike. Are tastes are all very different. We belong to a variety of church types and we all have our own unique hobbies. Yet there I was Saturday night looking around me at these beautiful women. Beautiful beyond just what you see in their pictures. Beautiful hearts, beautiful lives, beautiful stories.
Every one of them leaves a legacy of the person they are and of the God that they serve. As surreal as it was, I looked about me Saturday night as we laughed and cried together and I realized in that moment how blessed I was. I may only get to see these girls on occasion and certainly not as often as I like, but just the fact that I have been a part of their lives and they have been a part of mine, is a blessing I dare not take for granted. Every person there has shaped my life and inspired me in some way.
Friendship is a thing you take for granted until you lose it. It's value is priceless, it is an investment with an endless return. So to all my beautiful sisters in Christ, I love you, I miss you and I am so grateful to call you my FRIEND!..

My Fairytale!

My Handsome Prince








AND









My Country Princess

Worship in Spirit and Truth

Ironically you will find no greater controversy within the church world today than worship. Isn't it odd how deception comes from something that should be sacred and precious rather than something dark and unrighteous.
I have heard debates over everything from the style of music, the time alotted, conservative versus progressive and the list goes on. We complicate something that God desires from us so greatly. We spend more time analyzing worship than practicing it. It is a natural river that should flow from us without reservation. And it is a practice that should exist as much outside of the walls of a church as within them.
Worship can not exist with out a worshipper and an object of affection or adoration. Outside of that simple formula the rest is really natural. It is what we were created to do. If we were honest I think we would admit that we worship constantly throughout our daily lives. We magnify and exalt the things that are precious to us. Whether they be self, career, family or our relationships. We give honor and glory to the things in our lives that matter the most to us.
Yet when it is time to honor and exalt our Creator (the one who deserves our worship above all others), we complicate it with the things we think necessary to pay Him the greatest honor. All the while He is wanting only our hearts. The place, the sound, the style are of little consequence to Him.
He wants our hearts. Not part but the whole. We can not share our hearts with other gods and experience the blessings that come from pure worship. Sometimes we use the phrase "Spirit and in Truth" so loosely. What does it really mean. To worship in Spirit and in Truth? (John 4:23-24)
The scriptures about Spirit and Truth are not within the step by step plan of how to worship God or which song service works best. No these scriptures are within the story of the woman at the well. Jesus is telling this lost and searching woman. "but the time is coming AND IS ALREADY HERE, when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for ANYONE who will worship him that way. For God is Spirit so those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth."
He was wanting her everything. He was trying to tell her that He already knew her. I mean really knew her. He didn't want her rituals and offerings and traditions of worship. He wanted HER! In spirit and in truth. Not just the parts she wanted to offer but the ugly and the attractive. The hidden and the revealed. Until we offer all the chambers of ourselves to Him, we will always be left with the grasping for True Worship from a far. Desiring it, yet never experiencing it. He longs for us to worship Him and we were created to do so.
I think the controversies of worship come from the fact that we know within ourselves that something is still missing. So we complicate it with strategies and formulas that we have heard will work in our favor. We make it even more difficult when we take the simplicity and the beauty of Worship away.
Earlier I stated that the simple formula for worship is an object of affection + a worshipper. Who are what will you worship today?

Deeper

I am learning new things. I am thinking too much. I am trying to catch up for the years I didn't think enough. So many things I just accepted. I thought I was full of discernment. Yet all I knew was how to surround myself with people like me. Then there is nothing really to discern.
Oh but how subtle the sway is. It comes over you slowly until you are covered in the very existense of it and it is you and you are it.
Church has always been so very important to me and I have always respected my leadership so much that I have never taken advantage of my right to question them. To question things that did not add up. Todd is just the opposite. He questions everything. I used to get so aggravated that he could not close his eyes and just walk blindly into something without examining and understanding it first. Oh to have taken the time to question and to understand and to learn beyond my own small experiences. What it might have saved me.
Now at thirty with over twenty years of knowing the Lord. I am realizing that so much of what I have seen was not TRUTH. My love for the Scriptures is stronger and deeper than ever. And to think that my desire to be "normal" by the standards of my peers, even Christian peers, has taken me to this place of such inner turmoil. To realize that man has made a business and a career out of the things God calls Holy.
Ministry. Ministry lets you see a side of people that not everyone sees. You know the whole story when the rest of the world knows only the half. You begin to see the clear politics of it. The compromises and campaigning for agendas. You begin by trying to fight it. To conquer, To make a difference. Then one day you wake up and you realize that you are just the same. You are compromising, you are campaigning and you have your own agenda. What is most upsetting is that you are making a difference. But what kind?
The results of mans agendas lead to emotionalism and hype and production and conducting. Until you realize that you really are just leading your own personal army. I don't want to lead any armies. I don't want to have an agenda. I don't want to search after some "fresh word", or "new revelation".
Instead of searching for more. I want to be stripped away. Stripped away of all that I have seen and of all I have heard. I want to lose the knowledge that I think I have until I am totally ignorant of anything but Him.
Then and only then will I be ready.

Where Have I been?

I know I keep leaving the blogshphere for months at a time. It is just getting way too hard to keep up this and my myspace. And since myspace is my latest addiction, that is usually where you will find me. Check me out there at www.myspace.com/foursmiths.
This weekend we have nothing we have to do, so we decided to put the primer on in the bathrooms and dining room/kitchen, so we can paint. Finally! I mean don't get me wrong, I love our new house, but the wallpaper HAS TO GO!
My life must be pretty sad when I get excited over painting. Don't feel too sorry for me though! I love my life just the way it is. Lord knows I haven't always been able to say that.
LATER!
b

How Time Flies

I know. I know. It's been way too long, but between trying to sell our house and MYSPACE. I just haven't been able to be introspective enough to blog.

Time however has not been at a stand still just because I have been absent. Here are the latest pics of the babies. Zach is 16 months today and Madelynn will be 3 years old on Sunday. What a big girl!
Sunday is the big party day and there will be lots of princesses and lots of pink!
Zach still only has one tooth and we are anxiously awaiting some new additions to his collections.
Abby is definately part of the family now and is just as spoiled as the rest of us.
Please pray that our house sells quickly and we can get relocated and settled soon in our new home.
We have had a lot of decisions to make lately about our future so as always we appreciate your prayers for our family.
We Love You All,
Betsy

A Star is Born

Madelynn sang for her first Christmas program last Sunday night. It was priceless. She was not supposed to have a solo, but a solo she sang!!! Jesus Loves Me has never been sung more beautifully than it was sung at our church that night. She finished with a crescendo at the end that had everyone applauding!!! You can tell from the grin on her face that she was pleased with her performance.
I looked at her daddy and he was laughing and crying at the same time. Sappy old man!
After the children's part the adult choir performed, and I sang a solo in it. Todd said he was never prouder of his two girls. We had a great time as Todd narrated and Madelynn and I sang. We can't wait until next year when Zach gets to participate too. Pretty soon we'll have to take our talented family on the road!

Before and After

Well as many of you know Zach was admitted into the hospital Wednesday. We had hopes that some breathing treatments and IV antibiotics would have him home on Thursday in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with RSV and we were told he couldn't come home yet. It was not the way we had hoped the Smith's would spend thier Holiday and we wanted Zach to get his first taste of momma's sweet potatoes and chicken & dressing.
But God is good and today he was able to come home. He is loving the freedom to roam where he pleases and play with his toys. Thank you to all our friends and family that prayed for a speedy recovery. We are truly thankful this year!

POWERFUL STUFF!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9r_Jo4N-aE&eurl=

Just had to pass this on!!

Is there anything better?

Sorry it has been so long, where does the time go? We went for a much overdo vacation to Baton Rouge at the end of September and celelbrated my 30th Bday and our 10th anniversary all in one! Todd got to go to the LSU game with his dad and my kids got their first experience of tailgating. We had so much fun and the kids did fairly well with the 6 hour drive too!

You forget all that you miss about a place. I miss De Angelo's calzones, my Mother in Law's famous stew meat gumbo, and the awesome experience of HPC!!

You also forget what you don't miss. I don't miss TRAFFIC on every corner, more concrete than grass, and not being near my mom when I need her.

The kids were happy to be home and so were we.

The next weekend Todd made the kids get in their LSU Pajamas at 2:30 for the game and by 3:15 He was ready to take them out of them again. LSU's loss to Florida is still a sensitive subject in our household and it is with fear and trembling that I am even writing about it today.

We have been busy with the regular stuff of life and enjoying the changing of the season. We woke up this morning to a chilly 42 degrees. Bring on the cool weather. Zach looked so cute in his little jump suit. In no time at all we will be making hot chocolate and singing Christmas carols. Until then Happy Holidays in Advance.

Love,
Betsy